About xAttackAttackx : Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Tulips are red.
Bushes are red.
Trees are red.
OH GOD, my gardens on fire!!
"Ricky Spanish"
I like giraffes and anything to do with clothes. I also have an idiotic brother; who I personally want to drown. I usually don't comment. That is all.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (2697)
On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4063) - you deserved it (31101)
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (28407)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (8372)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (1748)
On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (48240)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45775) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3378)
On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42868) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (12109)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by cupcakelady127 (woman) - United States
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9951) - you deserved it (20304)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (3407)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49222) - you deserved it (3594)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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