Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xAttackAttackx

Search for a member

xAttackAttackx
  • Town/Country : Houston, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1277
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About xAttackAttackx : "Ricky Spanish"

I have a pretty strange sense of humor, and I love anything to do with clothes. I like mini M&Ms, and I usually don't comment.

xAttackAttackx's last visitors

carl_CIOwhatitzjstnxxcarlito615xRed_Link10totallybananasmetheonlybLebeaugars95nelson_92iHiccupBSdaminantionsuoerkewlleeebeeeee18

xAttackAttackx's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of xAttackAttackx's badges

xAttackAttackx's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (1588)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (1820)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (3002)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML

#20094580
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18401) - you deserved it (1310)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (1864)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (8431)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (1675)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (1897)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13599) - you deserved it (1703)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11719) - you deserved it (22687)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19134) - you deserved it (1492)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: