About xAttackAttackx : Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Tulips are red.
Bushes are red.
Trees are red.
OH GOD, my gardens on fire!!
"Ricky Spanish"
I like giraffes and anything to do with clothes. I also have an idiotic brother; who I personally want to drown. I usually don't comment. That is all.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40772) - you deserved it (1601)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23225) - you deserved it (2949)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (2931)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (1293)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (1835)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (6477)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15351) - you deserved it (1634)
On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (1670)
On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)
Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10077) - you deserved it (20047)
Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15593) - you deserved it (1068)
On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (1362)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you deserved it (4963)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (7498)
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13585) - you deserved it (4164)
On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
