Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

xAttackAttackx

Search for a member

xAttackAttackx
  • Town/Country : Houston, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 December 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 496
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About xAttackAttackx : Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Tulips are red.
Bushes are red.
Trees are red.
OH GOD, my gardens on fire!!

"Ricky Spanish"

I like giraffes and anything to do with clothes. I also have an idiotic brother; who I personally want to drown. I usually don't comment. That is all.

xAttackAttackx's last visitors

jonsmith01973jerzjayMVJESTICbecca11851992yokoilovedinosawersCaptMurdockHolyCrepeTHEnotSOBRIGHT

xAttackAttackx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of xAttackAttackx's badges

xAttackAttackx's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (1610)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17526) - you deserved it (1543)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (1213)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (3713)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16370) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18613) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (1225)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5134) - you deserved it (33598)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML

#20127911
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48619) - you deserved it (1786)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15032) - you deserved it (1794)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18938) - you deserved it (4582)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (1353)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (1637)

On 10/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by whatadaydanny (man) - Dominica

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (1228)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: