Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

xAttackAttackx

Search for a member

xAttackAttackx
  • Town/Country : Houston, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 December 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 456
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About xAttackAttackx : Roses are red.
Violets are red.
Tulips are red.
Bushes are red.
Trees are red.
OH GOD, my gardens on fire!!

"Ricky Spanish"

I like giraffes and anything to do with clothes. I also have an idiotic brother; who I personally want to drown. I usually don't comment. That is all.

xAttackAttackx's last visitors

1992yokoilovedinosawersCaptMurdockHolyCrepeTHEnotSOBRIGHTLilDELTAWHISKYRoMaNoV515waffule365lilahlovdannyt1802

xAttackAttackx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of xAttackAttackx's badges

xAttackAttackx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (7914)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

#20618055
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (3872)

On 04/24/2013 at 10:10am - work - by demispark - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57712) - you deserved it (3439)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54560) - you deserved it (9167)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML

#20569376
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (9635)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (4021)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34299) - you deserved it (3189)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I worked up my courage and took an elevator for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, it was also my first time getting trapped for several hours in an elevator. FML

#20507764
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2647)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41309) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37402) - you deserved it (4146) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: