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x6shotrevolvers

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x6shotrevolvers

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x6shotrevolvers's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (4804)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (3852)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (5122)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27833) - you deserved it (7076)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (3357)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (10760)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24179) - you deserved it (35627) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51473) - you deserved it (3739)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (11890)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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