x49853

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x49853

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3984
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About x49853 : smile, life only gets worse

x49853's page activity

Visits<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:43pm<b>NonScaryPumkin</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:42pm<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>dumdum1996</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 10:07am<b>epicx22</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 10:30pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:56pm<b>biohunter</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:47pm<b>BI4ze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:40am<b>skymachine</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Shrekie</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:14am<b>xGreedyGenius</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:20am<b>pimp_named_mitch</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:19pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:39pm<b>mzbreezy</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 11:56pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 9:20pm<b>Creat1ve</b> - the 04/17/2009 at 9:18am<b>apetroulis</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 5:34pm<b>sleepless15_p</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 5:41am

Fucked!<b>epicx22</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:30am

x49853's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

x49853's favorite FMLs

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

by Kaboom / 04/21/2009 at 8:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

by whymommywhy / 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

by confusedphotographer / 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Kentucky) / Geek

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

by Daniel_rules / 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

by Eyesore / 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

by dramaqueen / 04/14/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

by snathans / 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I had a really cute waitress at lunch. I decided to leave my number and a $50 bill for a $15 check. When I left the restaurant I realized I still had the $50 but a $1 bill was missing from my wallet. I've been getting threatening text messages all day. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Illinois) / Love