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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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wyltk55

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wyltk55
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 January 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1543
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wyltk55 : This site is awesome... I guess my life isn't so bad :)

shoot me an email! wyltk55@hotmail.com

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wyltk55's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiance." FML

#992330 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (58484) - you deserved it (8883)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

#950316 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (102921) - you deserved it (7130)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (84611) - you deserved it (6278)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (70550) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (14845)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML

#902467 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (119954) - you deserved it (40185)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (9495) - you deserved it (41434)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (18605)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52593) - you deserved it (7826)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

#796912 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (69363) - you deserved it (9606)

On 04/04/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Roskilde)

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

#796639 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (77019) - you deserved it (5152)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (64478)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (79098) - you deserved it (10892)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (66788) - you deserved it (6653)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girl handcuffed me to the bed. I willingly let her thinking we were about to have some fun. She then took my phone and read a sent message; 'Wanna hook up?' to my ex. She left me cuffed and blindfolded, and painted my nails before she left. The sent message was from before I met her. FML

#572343 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (60408) - you deserved it (41781)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:46am - intimacy - by littleman (man) - Hong Kong