About wyattshack : I like to run and stuff.
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wyattshack's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
by shadokis / 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Heavy D / 09/06/2012 at 9:45am / United States / Work
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML
by spasticock / 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm / Portugal (Setubal) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health
by aaah. / 05/24/2012 at 1:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
by Merlin / 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
by dcort / 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I decided to bake some cookies for after my dinner. I left the room to answer my phone, then… Today, we got our cat back from the vet, $1000 later and we find out his diarrhea that smelled like… Today, I realized just how bad my weight gain during my senior semester was when I ripped my third…