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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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wwezain

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wwezain
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1653
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About wwezain : What is up!

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wwezain's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (9450)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (21505)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (24260) - you deserved it (1905)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (24000)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

#8865322 (366)

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:31am - intimacy - by ICantBelieveThis - United States (New York)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (13389) - you deserved it (2132)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721 (605)

I agree, your life sucks (38881) - you deserved it (2429)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (5687)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (1616)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (4687)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (35697) - you deserved it (2105)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (1767)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51894) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (11859)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)