Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wvni

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

wvni

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1128
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About wvni : I am wvni. I an weird. I make new words and take things that are beyond things to other things, like beyond bull is ox. Now for a random thing. CAT VOMIT!

wvni's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 9:44am<b>elcharlitos</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 8:28am<b>Solano2580</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:07am<b>daydreamer244</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:19pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Mii99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:24pm<b>anonymousjon</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:23pm<b>krxll</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:37am<b>madi_booth</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:19pm<b>cleo_ann</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:25pm<b>SickSilo34</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 7:28pm<b>han5301</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:28am<b>theriheldeal</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:36pm<b>tmd4L</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Z3R0G5</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:46am

wvni's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of wvni's badges

wvni's favorite FMLs

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (2653)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

#21320043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by ai_lauren (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2866)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (6080)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (7739)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (5167)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (23975)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (2257)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33597) - you deserved it (4191)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: