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wtftashaaa's FML badges
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wtftashaaa's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by Patricia / 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by Pita / 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML
by cinderella / 09/27/2010 at 10:47am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Intimacy
by youaresodumb / 09/27/2010 at 12:19am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make… Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the… Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on…