wtfCorby

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wtfCorby

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 31 August 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11951
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About wtfCorby : I'm a physics major. Consider my life fucked. That's why I'm here.

wtfCorby's page activity

Visits<b>convive</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:10am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 10:50pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:54pm<b>unotrea</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 8:15pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 3:51pm<b>sarbear11753</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 5:26pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:03am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 11:56pm<b>rxysurfbum07</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 4:36pm<b>msahovey</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 4:22pm<b>diegomn14</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 3:54am<b>mbgurl24</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 8:39pm<b>boricua_4life407</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:51pm<b>Arkvoodle</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:56am<b>username666</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 5:00pm<b>assman266</b> - the 04/29/2009 at 2:35pm

wtfCorby's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wtfCorby's favorite FMLs

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back and even bought them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I get repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

by fuckmylife / 04/28/2009 at 4:45am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

by Anonymousagb / 04/24/2009 at 11:18am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

by apricot / 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy