Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wtf

Search for a member

wtf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 85967
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

wtf's page activity

Visits<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:24pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Solarfaze</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:34am<b>tayraaah</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Nemo123654</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:51am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:31pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 5:33pm<b>cmkchris1</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Nvjds</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:50pm<b>UnvalidMistakes</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 10:29pm<b>anyoumous</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 9:58pm<b>LolYouDumb</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 12:20pm<b>JohnzSexyMamas11</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 4:42pm<b>fadoodlemynoodle</b> - the 04/04/2010 at 9:51pm<b>CYNNER</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 7:46am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/14/2009 at 11:44pm<b>natylovely</b> - the 11/01/2009 at 9:57pm

wtf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wtf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66357) - you deserved it (9853)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

#284882
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (28061)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

#260115
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59026) - you deserved it (18405)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

#214714
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86680) - you deserved it (9070)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by saltinawound (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

#185042
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62297) - you deserved it (17130)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by Stairway2Heaven - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50777) - you deserved it (8956)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (13532)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122486) - you deserved it (22213)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (7019)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85861) - you deserved it (21413)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: