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wtf

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 87177
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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wtf's page activity

Visits<b>H4H</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 5:01pm<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:31am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:14pm<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:31am<b>justaguynl</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 1:29pm<b>silkyred</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:49pm<b>wiifan013</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:06am<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 8:23pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:29am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:24pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Solarfaze</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:34am<b>tayraaah</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Nemo123654</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:51am<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:31pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 5:33pm

Fucked!<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:49pm

wtf's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wtf's favorite FMLs

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

by blackedout / 10/06/2009 at 1:25am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

by Foufinator / 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

by mcdeez / 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm / United States / Work

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

by flexibleflatulance / 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

by emily / 07/30/2009 at 4:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

by mubaki / 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

by bossgroper / 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

by Divorcemenow / 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

by MadMax / 07/16/2009 at 10:59am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2009 at 2:58am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

by homedoggieo / 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals