About wrinklytesticle : ;)
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Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (51778)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11102) - you deserved it (61567)
On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56822) - you deserved it (17602)
On 03/17/2009 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by ThePopeMan (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57093) - you deserved it (5629)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62914) - you deserved it (19442)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62914) - you deserved it (19442)
On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51624) - you deserved it (14630)
On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43868) - you deserved it (7190)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65680) - you deserved it (2732)
On 03/02/2009 at 8:57pm - money - by Vahootie (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53300) - you deserved it (585644)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205362) - you deserved it (44829)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55482) - you deserved it (6465)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML
I agree, your life sucks (73657) - you deserved it (4393)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204402) - you deserved it (40419)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dads words of wisdom were "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38224) - you deserved it (3200)
On 02/12/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by cdaniel2 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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