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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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wowwxurcool

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wowwxurcool
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 December 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 352
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wowwxurcool : I can get down like a Mexican clown, having a stroke in Chinatown.

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wowwxurcool's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiance has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

#5567038 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (1518)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Notthemaid (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I was called by my son's school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551 (526)

I agree, your life sucks (5782) - you deserved it (71998)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (2880)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (44533) - you deserved it (3605)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27810)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (46082)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (577)

I agree, your life sucks (40703) - you deserved it (114327)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320 (32)

I agree, your life sucks (34505) - you deserved it (6006)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)