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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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wowfmlife

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wowfmlife
  • Town/Country : Spogoria, Similar Places of Spog
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 January 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 216124
  • Number of comments : 383
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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wowfmlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (69761) - you deserved it (14571)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28134) - you deserved it (46077)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (51873) - you deserved it (2121)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my sister in law walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (97738)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (60642) - you deserved it (16265)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (78777) - you deserved it (16015)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57254) - you deserved it (14843)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167936) - you deserved it (51051)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (75021)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (362908) - you deserved it (401229)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)