About woolymittens : Hmm stalking my page are we? Haha, kidding. :)
Um there isn't really much to say about me to be honest, I'm a quiet person, shy, awkward... I love to draw and read books and listen to music! I'm your average teenager with a crazy family really. :P
Oh and I obviously love fml! It's so addictive. :)
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Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (44440)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53968) - you deserved it (10183)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45080) - you deserved it (14039)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53142) - you deserved it (5383)
On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15026) - you deserved it (71676)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57657) - you deserved it (6627)
On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75955) - you deserved it (16283)
On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32960) - you deserved it (114326)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (49983)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306353) - you deserved it (40877)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77151) - you deserved it (20700)
On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)
Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (47001)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (7151)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by McChunky =( - United States (California)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48004) - you deserved it (3234)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184351) - you deserved it (21584)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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