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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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woofer

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woofer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10462
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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woofer's favorite FMLs

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

#1489175 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (46576) - you deserved it (14693)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

#1450891 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (4943)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by voltumna (woman) - United States (Maine)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

#966989 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (43126) - you deserved it (13378)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

#858893 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (52761) - you deserved it (11909)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (76248) - you deserved it (6262)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154521) - you deserved it (18171)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (12694) - you deserved it (84777)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dig into the ground and find a beautiful box, heavy enough not to be empty. I already imagine myself with gold coins. It's the corpse of a dead cat. FML

#1817 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (16282) - you deserved it (3631)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - love - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (1127)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (13311) - you deserved it (1266)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)