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Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (15126)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44211) - you deserved it (5226)
On 04/29/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by voltumna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (16533)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60347) - you deserved it (15492)
On 04/07/2009 at 7:34pm - kids - by ugly (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80126) - you deserved it (6697)
On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193741) - you deserved it (21250)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13696) - you deserved it (91662)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (3977)
On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (1256)
On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14816) - you deserved it (1452)
On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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