About wolfshield101 : You can drink an UGLY girl pretty, but you can't drink a FAT girl skinny!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was texting my boyfriend during a 7 hour car ride with my family. I thought it'd be fine to text dirty with him. Little did I know, my audio corrector was on, and told me the right way to spell 'penis' and 'orgasm.' 5 hours left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13692) - you deserved it (48456)
On 05/23/2010 at 10:39am - intimacy - by grounded - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (8544)
On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (33442)
On 04/11/2010 at 7:54am - intimacy - by John doe - United States (Utah)
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (36185)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8770) - you deserved it (46031)
On 03/31/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by darthmilfious - Sent from mobile version
Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (4815)
On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6577) - you deserved it (17482)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15158) - you deserved it (4576)
On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States
Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14921) - you deserved it (4779)
On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version
Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15403) - you deserved it (6216)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Ennui (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19340) - you deserved it (1559)
On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (1611)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (1677)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12513) - you deserved it (2165)
On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (2059)
On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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