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wolfshield101

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wolfshield101
  • Town/Country : centerville, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8395
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wolfshield101 : You can drink an UGLY girl pretty, but you can't drink a FAT girl skinny!

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wolfshield101's favorite FMLs

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54719) - you deserved it (3816)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (6227)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12876) - you deserved it (45848)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (14247)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (7785)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (15630)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13376) - you deserved it (52196)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I thought it'd be hot to have it off on the golf course once it was dark. Who would've thought that sprinklers start up once it's pitch dark. I got a lot wetter than I thought I would. FML

#11846185
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11289) - you deserved it (32546)

On 07/13/2010 at 4:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

#11542106
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (22645)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11228) - you deserved it (32136)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I turned myself off. FML

#11271577
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (13890)

On 06/17/2010 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

#11076892
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33856) - you deserved it (21197)

On 06/09/2010 at 9:05am - intimacy - by DFR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML

#10945520
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (24013)

On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (62530)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17066) - you deserved it (50603)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)



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