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wolfcrowd

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wolfcrowd

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  • Number of visits : 205
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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wolfcrowd's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60589) - you deserved it (10416)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

#14862794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9082) - you deserved it (26822)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML

#14608702
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (3311) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - love - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML

#14244337
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2712)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (31808)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

#13722404
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (4147)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42822) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75483) - you deserved it (3332)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (4461)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (38800)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents told me that I was born to entertain my brother. I have found the meaning of life. FML

#11718705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (3656)

On 07/07/2010 at 5:43am - misc - by 42 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (5988)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

#8663511
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (26328)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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