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wiretapped's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money
Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Money
by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by BabeRuth / 09/20/2013 at 11:33am / United States / Health
by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML
by Jamie / 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work
by Smoothskin / 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by BarryShitpeas / 09/19/2013 at 11:18am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Health
Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
by CapitolSouthSux / 09/19/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Transportation
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML
by Sua / 09/19/2013 at 2:15am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
- Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were… Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I… Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly…