About winterpony : I like cats.
About winterpony : I like cats.
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winterpony's favorite FMLs
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
by DL06 / 04/08/2009 at 3:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:37am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML
by caughtontape / 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
by flaggurl / 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in a restaurant with my best friend. We had just competed in a pageant together earlier this month. A lady comes up to my friend who got first alternate and said,"You were robbed of that title. You deserved to win. I hated the winner." I was the winner. FML
by frosho / 03/09/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML
by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by maxthndr / 02/10/2009 at 12:36am / United States / Work
by asdf / 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
by Boredom / 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have… Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he… Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish…