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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13060
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 92 posted

About winterforever97 :

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winterforever97's favorite FMLs

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by GladYoureConcerned (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (3419)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML


I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (16851)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33838) - you deserved it (5912)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (6494)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (2799)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (4120)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (4265)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (11173)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (3555)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33085) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37015) - you deserved it (4919)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)

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