About winterforever97 : Twitter- T-i-d-e-s
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14911) - you deserved it (3377)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (2443)
On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11898) - you deserved it (30189)
On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States
Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14973) - you deserved it (8005)
On 01/29/2012 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14350) - you deserved it (1584)
On 01/27/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by disturbedtosaytheleast (woman) - Canada
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18306) - you deserved it (1975)
On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (1797)
On 01/26/2012 at 6:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (1515)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)
Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16873) - you deserved it (2732)
On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States
Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12766) - you deserved it (4848)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (3835)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29886) - you deserved it (7767)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (1407)
On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (2451)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17763) - you deserved it (3152)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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