Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member
About winterforever97 : i love my boyfriend and my best friends, i'm a huge music lover. i don't judge at all. blah blah blah, the end.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015