About winterforever97 : Twitter- T-i-d-e-s
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6245) - you deserved it (16345)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14970) - you deserved it (10111)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (5045)
On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15995) - you deserved it (3628)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14908) - you deserved it (1763)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (23523)
On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8253) - you deserved it (42308)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (4188)
On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (7031)
On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands
Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (2868)
On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1863)
On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (3739)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19830) - you deserved it (2572)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -
Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20391) - you deserved it (1671)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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