About winterforever97 : Twitter- T-i-d-e-s
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1830)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16843) - you deserved it (3564)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7489) - you deserved it (32808)
On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2240)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (4304)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (4196)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you deserved it (2371)
On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (5457)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9326) - you deserved it (15129)
On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19971) - you deserved it (6932)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (1472)
On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (1472)
On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (1472)
On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8373) - you deserved it (19439)
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (2451)
On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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