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winstonweigand's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
winstonweigand's favorite FMLs
Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML
by winstonweigand / 08/14/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill… Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He… Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he…