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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1875
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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winslow310560's page activity

Visits<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 6:18pm<b>eutri</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 2:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:45am

winslow310560's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

winslow310560's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

by OhNo / 07/13/2010 at 11:02am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

by E or / 07/13/2010 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

by fat / 07/12/2010 at 3:52am / United States / Health

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

by Anna / 03/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML

by mama75 / 03/17/2010 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

by Username / 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm / Love

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

by slickboy0023 / 03/16/2010 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

by meatballz / 03/16/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

by Hatty / 03/14/2010 at 6:50am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy