Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

winslow310560

Search for a member

winslow310560

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1457
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

winslow310560's page activity

Visits<b>eutri</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 2:04pm

winslow310560's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

winslow310560's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

#13443862
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (6406)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:05am - health - by mikey - United States (Michigan)

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (9308)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

#12966386
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (8969)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by undoable - United States (Illinois)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (7402)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

#12805582
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (3984)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (5483)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (9508)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45650) - you deserved it (14558)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18204) - you deserved it (29246)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (6944)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

#12621372
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56976) - you deserved it (4064)

On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

#12612663
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm - health - by gorey - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

#12563425
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49718) - you deserved it (6073)

On 08/16/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8836) - you deserved it (45505)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35436) - you deserved it (8815)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: