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wingedtoad

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wingedtoad
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3995
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91819) - you deserved it (13922)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73410) - you deserved it (5884)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

#3947588
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39773) - you deserved it (24491)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55685) - you deserved it (5863)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50418) - you deserved it (26095)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML

Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML

#3894865
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47166) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty Soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML

#3880304
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69227) - you deserved it (3355)

On 07/19/2009 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by kareed3 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

#3878343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44644) - you deserved it (5176)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

#3877056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (61732)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:11am - money - by Unluckyducky (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

#3868753
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (2599)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:12pm - animals - by omgjessp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (5757)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68615) - you deserved it (7337)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

#3855334
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67090) - you deserved it (7516)

On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44245) - you deserved it (4885)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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