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Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37645) - you deserved it (7063)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm - work - by fedexed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55135) - you deserved it (2326)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (11147)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (4341)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4760) - you deserved it (59067)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51990) - you deserved it (16288)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (12171)
On 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by LockedOut (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (5253)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (3463)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:05pm - money - by Cougar (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34733) - you deserved it (3255)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61754) - you deserved it (5479)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)
Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41251) - you deserved it (3196)
On 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Gg (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47698) - you deserved it (6274)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (54738)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43480) - you deserved it (4247)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Monday 20 May 2013
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