wingedtoad

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wingedtoad

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6732
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's page activity

Visits<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:35am<b>Hyperspace68</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:23pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:38am<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:19pm<b>Pyronia</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Starshrek</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:15pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:08pm<b>cystone</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:44pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Classic_Rocker14</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:02am<b>balake</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:14pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:51pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:35pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:46pm

wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

by loserwithlice / 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

by Pottymouth / 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm / United States / Money

Today, my auto-repairman told me my heavy mass of keys was bad for the ignition switch and suggested I separate my house and car keys. I began to carry my car keys and lock the house keys in my glovebox. My car was stolen. I now have car keys but no car and a house with no house key. FML

by LockedOut / 07/24/2009 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML

by Cougar / 07/24/2009 at 3:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I bust my lip when a car bumped into mine. As I headed home, I was stopped by the police who told me my back light was out. I tried to explain, but it just came out as "fghjiljh" because of my lip. I was arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving. FML

by Gg / 07/23/2009 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Transportation

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

by OneYearMistake. / 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

by uncleaning / 07/22/2009 at 7:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML

by retainer / 07/22/2009 at 6:36pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

by grounded4life / 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous