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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4930)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14687) - you deserved it (34387)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (2568)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45428) - you deserved it (4210)
On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37656) - you deserved it (61577)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (8951)
On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49814) - you deserved it (2138)
On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (5120)
On 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm - misc - by bigryngf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my co-worker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she goes to the manager and accuses me of sexual harassment. Everyone applauded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42676) - you deserved it (2629)
On 08/03/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (2973)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (3282)
On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39892) - you deserved it (4572)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55430) - you deserved it (4005)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (55545) - you deserved it (4125)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54799) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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