Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

wingedtoad

Search for a member

wingedtoad
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3444
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

wingedtoad's last visitors

BellaBear90Jakethedog6969vb68

wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103135) - you deserved it (3353)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (6561)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

#3528361
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (12314)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by WhitneyHouston (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43887) - you deserved it (3504)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

#3486397
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

#3437520
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57446) - you deserved it (6153)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

#3414555
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (15701)

On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

#3376550
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35121) - you deserved it (13676)

On 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by SimpleSimon (man) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (2487)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (2502)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59555) - you deserved it (5647)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

#2713255
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82049) - you deserved it (4960)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: