wingedtoad

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wingedtoad

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7490
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's page activity

Visits<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 1:50am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 8:37am<b>PikarooArtist</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 1:28pm<b>jforren</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 1:56pm<b>squidley9</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 11:33am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:03pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 8:04am<b>melons</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:16am<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:35am<b>Hyperspace68</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:23pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:38am<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:19pm<b>Pyronia</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Starshrek</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:15pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:08pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:46pm

wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

by blinded / 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

by Barista / 07/05/2009 at 1:21am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML

by litup / 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

by heart-broken / 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

by S4L / 07/02/2009 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

by SimpleSimon / 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 6:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm / Japan (Okinawa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML

by PreciousIve / 06/09/2009 at 11:36am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

by prostate / 06/08/2009 at 9:48am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy