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wingedtoad

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wingedtoad

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4210
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (3799)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (32367)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46062) - you deserved it (2167)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (3579)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (4948)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

#6937151
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (8452)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (2931)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (11813)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10143) - you deserved it (59799)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

#6848390
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (5123)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (5834)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (10326)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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