wingedtoad

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wingedtoad

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7061
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:03pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 8:04am<b>melons</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:16am<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:35am<b>Hyperspace68</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:23pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:38am<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:19pm<b>Pyronia</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Starshrek</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:15pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:08pm<b>cystone</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:44pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Classic_Rocker14</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:02am<b>balake</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:14pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:46pm

wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

by farmvillefail / 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

by Lovergirl / 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

by .... / 12/31/2009 at 1:23am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

by Davios / 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML

by MessyMal / 12/25/2009 at 10:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

by lois2lane / 12/23/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

by fatman / 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation