wingedtoad

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wingedtoad

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6879
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wingedtoad's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 6:16am<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:35am<b>Hyperspace68</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 10:23pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 11:38am<b>_kevinkim</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 10:19pm<b>Pyronia</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:17pm<b>Starshrek</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:15pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>FlendtDK</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 7:29pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:08pm<b>cystone</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 9:44pm<b>UnknownTracker</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:42pm<b>Classic_Rocker14</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:02am<b>balake</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:14pm<b>nabeelamakani</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:51pm<b>jrod9327</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:35pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Seabiscuit218</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:46pm

wingedtoad's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wingedtoad's favorite FMLs

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 12:08am / United States (North Dakota) / Animals

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

by Lovejunkie / 03/01/2010 at 2:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

by lovingsnow / 02/27/2010 at 2:37am / Singapore / Animals

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

by Rach / 02/20/2010 at 8:58am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

by Craig / 02/17/2010 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

by blaze / 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

by cherrycokeee / 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I received a detention because I threw up on the school nurse who wasn't going to send me home. According to her, stomach ulcers are not a true health issue, so there's no reason to leave. FML

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

by MattVh / 01/12/2010 at 12:23pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 3:09am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

by Gentleman / 01/11/2010 at 12:19am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

by Lady / 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous