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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18601) - you deserved it (8590)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23536) - you deserved it (2805)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60679) - you deserved it (3856)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23046) - you deserved it (11085)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4719) - you deserved it (32633)
On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while working on my laptop, I accidentally spilled a glass of water. I quickly moved my laptop out of the way of the oncoming stream. It fell on the floor and broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (6615)
On 10/07/2009 at 5:25am - misc - by 1000dollarspoor - United States (California)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11536) - you deserved it (24252)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on facebook for everyone to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15358) - you deserved it (1894)
On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35145) - you deserved it (2136)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Foufinator - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4654) - you deserved it (36641)
On 10/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Britters89 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2315) - you deserved it (9168)
On 10/04/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by masterfail (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept trying to dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. I found myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering her on as she tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (5398)
On 10/04/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (10031)
On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (4166)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
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