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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (6445)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (15279)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31706) - you deserved it (9084)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8651) - you deserved it (21817)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:21am - love - by looke27 - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9062) - you deserved it (22044)
On 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (3362)
On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15381) - you deserved it (1970)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)
Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20048) - you deserved it (5239)
On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31808) - you deserved it (2485)
On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (8036)
On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)
Today, it's my Nana's birthday and to say she is having a good time is an understatement. She's so drunk, she took out her false teeth tried to put them in her dog's mouth. When she failed, she tried the cat's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (2825)
On 06/13/2010 at 10:36am - misc - by Cat (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (5586)
On 06/12/2010 at 2:55pm - kids - by kingwalrus - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (1537)
On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46262) - you deserved it (2527)
On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (4283)
On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)
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