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wildmonkey

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wildmonkey

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About wildmonkey : Hello.

wildmonkey's page activity

Visits<b>jwp0211</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:04pm<b>T_Rock1771</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:04pm<b>AmyPond17</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:51pm<b>samm12099</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 1:16am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:49am<b>nicksta150</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 10:53pm<b>askcat</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Flamevoid</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Xeebar</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 12:10pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:37pm<b>allie1121</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 10:04am<b>stupidsyrup</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:28am<b>blazingshot147</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Wonder_Woman257</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:08pm<b>speakersboom</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:33pm<b>PerezAlmighty</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:24am<b>prosectionat</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:56am

wildmonkey's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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wildmonkey's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (7418)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (51049)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (51049)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

#3704342
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (28788)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52328) - you deserved it (23371)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13430) - you deserved it (56569)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65993) - you deserved it (5975)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML

#2187535
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56052) - you deserved it (3311)

On 05/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Neverthebride - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99931) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (650182) - you deserved it (437811)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

#104917
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (4186)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by JRock - United States (Pennsylvania)



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