Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member
About wildhorseman : Just another random person.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look ( natural. ) I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad nieghborhood, cuz I ended up bieng chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" fat FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend cummd and sat on my lap. She landd directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. mega FML
today I droppd a whole batch of penis-shapd cookies on the floor . Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and startd eating them . And then I realizd that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor . FML
I was pulled over!! The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving!! I was literally pulled over fir being black!! FML
Today I looool found out my friend swappd my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my pone. My girlfriend is wondering y I askd er permission to leave te country and my probation officer said se can't wait to see me again. FML
Today , after waking up , I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimatd mah strength , and the whole thing splashd all over mah face. A few moment later , mah dad staggerd in , lookd at me in disgust , and said , "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Friday 27 March 2015