wildhorseman

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 10:55pm)

wildhorseman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1931
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wildhorseman : Just another random person.

wildhorseman's page activity

Visits<b>shakeyjay3</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:02pm<b>AltoSaxophone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:39pm<b>chuckhorneatcorn</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:41am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:48am<b>themouseman1212</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 12:04pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:59am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:03pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:32pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:13pm<b>BritishGinger</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:30am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:25am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:17am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:19pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:44am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:24pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:10pm<b>The_War_Doctor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:48am

wildhorseman's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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wildhorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML

by Holding / 08/24/2013 at 1:21am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

by newbffswelcome / 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

by trailertrashyanditsucks / 07/26/2013 at 3:55pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

by traveling / 07/09/2013 at 7:18am / Holidays

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals