About wildhorseman : Just another random person.
wildhorseman's FML badges
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wildhorseman's favorite FMLs
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
by confsused / 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
by abc123 / 12/16/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Ramis182 / 12/16/2013 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Cat Piss / 12/15/2013 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
by numbnuts / 09/23/2013 at 1:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML
by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids
by OldHabitsDieHard / 09/18/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by smurftastic / 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Work
by aherdofpigs / 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm / United States / Animals
Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML
by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work
- Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"… Today, I'm so broke that my roommates brought up evicting me if I don't catch up on rent. Then my… Today I went as a chaperone on one of my son's middle school field trips to the beach with the rest…