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wildhorseman

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wildhorseman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1563
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wildhorseman : Just another random person.

wildhorseman's page activity

Visits<b>chuckhorneatcorn</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:41am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:48am<b>themouseman1212</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 12:04pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:59am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:03pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:32pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:13pm<b>BritishGinger</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:30am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:25am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:17am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:19pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:44am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:24pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:10pm<b>The_War_Doctor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:48am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:02pm<b>lilhellian</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:51pm

wildhorseman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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See all of wildhorseman's badges

wildhorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (5640)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (4213)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20002) - you deserved it (37964)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (5830)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35168) - you deserved it (3834)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (3502)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (5616)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (16113)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45722) - you deserved it (12723)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (16853)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53192) - you deserved it (9553)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20344) - you deserved it (38441)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version



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