wildhorseman

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 10:55pm)

wildhorseman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2441
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wildhorseman : Just another random person.

wildhorseman's page activity

Visits<b>shakeyjay3</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:02pm<b>AltoSaxophone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:39pm<b>chuckhorneatcorn</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:41am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:48am<b>themouseman1212</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 12:04pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:59am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:03pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:32pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:13pm<b>BritishGinger</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:30am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:25am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:17am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:19pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:44am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:24pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:10pm<b>The_War_Doctor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:48am

wildhorseman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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See all of wildhorseman's badges

wildhorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

by Microtron / 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm / United States / Health

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

by tulisa / 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

by thewrittenrebel / 10/28/2014 at 3:40am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

by thoughthewasjoking / 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Money