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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 10:55pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2329
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wildhorseman : Just another random person.

wildhorseman's page activity

Visits<b>shakeyjay3</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:02pm<b>AltoSaxophone</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:39pm<b>chuckhorneatcorn</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:41am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 8:48am<b>themouseman1212</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 12:04pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 2:59am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 8:03pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 5:32pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:13pm<b>BritishGinger</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:30am<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:25am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:17am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:19pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:54pm<b>Deathwinner95</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:44am<b>stupidretriever</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:24pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:10pm<b>The_War_Doctor</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 1:48am

wildhorseman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


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See all of wildhorseman's badges

wildhorseman's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

by Anonymousse / 11/13/2015 at 7:34am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

by sad-boing / 10/02/2015 at 5:01pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML

by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2015 at 6:59am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

by anonymousyo / 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2015 at 10:59am / United States / Love

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work