Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member
About wildhorseman : Just another random person.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Today I made a speec in front of my entire graduating class and tere families despite my fear of public speaking . It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at te end . Ten I panicked and instead of waving I lifted my arm straigt out in a Hitler salute . FML
Today , I took the biggest , most excruciatingly painful crap of my life!! It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards!! Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around an post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)"!! mega FML
Today , a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all , so I listened to the frst 30 second of it to get a feel fir it. It was nice and uplifting , so I sent it to mah mom. Turns out , after the frst 30 seconds , the singer brighten his day by singing about his enormou penis. FML
Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML
today I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest . "You can do it " I muttered which I guess mah asswipe of a cat hered as "Quick go kill that bird and scar me 4 life please." FML
I askd my friend to download Frozen for me , because my mom wantd to play it for family movie night!! The movie was shit , but it got even worse halfway through , when it cut to hardcore porn an a text bar saying ( umad? ) Now I'm groundd , an my ( friend ) is a legend for his prank!! FML
TADAY I FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND DRESSE IN MY UNDERWEAR AND TIGHTS, TAKES SUGGESTIVE SHOTS OF HIS ASS AND LEGS, AND USES THEM TO TRICK PEOPLE INTO THINKING HE'S A GIRL SO THEY BUY HIM STUFF IN HIS ONLINE GAMES. FML
Today, mah boss asked about the mass of deep scratche on mah arm !! I lied and told him it happenedhile I was trying to save mah cat from a tree !! Truth is, mah cat is a sadistic assholeho stalk me and mauls mehenever he can !! real FML
Today, I witnessd some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. ( Goddamn negger ), I mutterd. ( The fuck did u just say?! ) yelld a black guy standing beside me. FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today... it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking... but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML
Friday 27 March 2015