About wildfox211 : I love to comment on posts and hopefully will someday have a shitty enough day to get my FML posted.
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wildfox211's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML
by anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
by Mikey832 / 08/09/2010 at 9:24am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
by nyu / 01/25/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Sl3vin / 01/19/2010 at 9:17am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2010 at 2:11am / United States / Holidays
by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health
by blind_date / 09/13/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML
by oldtexas / 08/13/2009 at 3:27am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, I farted in front of my girlfriend of eight months for the first time. She got up from bed… Today, I was running late to work and noticed that my car keys weren't in the right spot. I quickly…