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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109507) - you deserved it (8695)
On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38520) - you deserved it (4398)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States
Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (38791)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6284) - you deserved it (66752)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53076)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58038) - you deserved it (7832)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43233) - you deserved it (14235)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. In my depressive state, I changed my Facebook status to the Blue October lyrics "Hate me today, Hate me tomorrow, Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, "Liked" this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (14912)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8576) - you deserved it (46576)
On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (80962)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (49995)
On 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14431) - you deserved it (33389)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (13213)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by partycats (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129781) - you deserved it (5743)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (865)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
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