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wikifoo
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  • Number of visits : 4361
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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wikifoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

#5431365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:38pm - misc - by poorgirl (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my plates on my car were stolen. On the way to the police station to file a police report I was pulled over. They impounded my car for driving without a license plate. FML

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (34276)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

#5424247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15517) - you deserved it (32715)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14047) - you deserved it (38707)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML

#5422462
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13207) - you deserved it (26572)

On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - animals - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (1530)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

#5180905
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11035) - you deserved it (33852)

On 09/11/2009 at 12:23am - love - by suzanneallen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (6466)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13387) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

#5162946
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (7104)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51889) - you deserved it (4744)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34945) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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