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wideh2ogirl

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wideh2ogirl
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2375
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46773) - you deserved it (11255)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

#278978
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70110) - you deserved it (9853)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by MoneyMike (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (130638)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML

#145480
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (66893)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by JessP (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114779) - you deserved it (20783)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my 78 year old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

#16862
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (2182)

On 02/09/2009 at 2:51am - intimacy - by V (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (38653)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50843) - you deserved it (8813)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (8706)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32476) - you deserved it (5603)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (28271)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst doing it with my girlfriend she goes :"are you done any time soon?" FML

#367
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (5577)

On 11/22/2008 at 7:24am - intimacy - by KaRaSu - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

#117
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54894) - you deserved it (6605)

On 10/28/2008 at 7:13am - intimacy - by loon - Sent from mobile version



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