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wideh2ogirl

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wideh2ogirl
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Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73209) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

#5068921
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (44590)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (2213)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after two years of dating, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend on my birthday. It wasn't as all like I dreamed about; I dreamt that I wasn't allergic to latex. FML

Today, after not having sex for nearly a year and a half, an opportunity arose. I couldn't get it up. FML

#4805329
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53564) - you deserved it (9704)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by 2yearsofHotSexThenThis (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107750) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47510) - you deserved it (5208)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64528) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML

Today, I proposed to a girl I'd been in love with for 6 years. I filled the balcony of the building where I'd first laid eyes on her with innumerable roses and, under the starlit sky, I did it. She later posted on facebook 'OMG. This geek I knew from high school did the FUNNIEST thing today'. FML

#3720470
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52967) - you deserved it (27833)

On 07/13/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by JackOLantern (man) - Satellite Provider

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46239) - you deserved it (20570)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (2213)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

#3376550
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (16182)

On 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by SimpleSimon (man) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. Driving her home, we got stuck in a construction zone. I waited half an hour with with my ex-girlfriend bawling her eyes out in the passenger seat as I watched the traffic lady eat her lunch. FML

#3228373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15048) - you deserved it (57579)

On 06/26/2009 at 1:31am - love - by f03_f0r_l1f3 (man) - United States (Washington)



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